Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize