I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize