you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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