Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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