So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
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Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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