How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize