thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
