Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
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i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
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I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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