You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
