tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize