just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
