he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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