so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
