things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
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