'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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