in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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