Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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