24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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