i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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