Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
