I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
