.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize