Where is the hickey?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
