just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize