Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
