"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
