he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
