I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
should my penis look like a turkey
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
