So drunk its hurt
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
