It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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