Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
