I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
