Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
