So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
