dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
