i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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