Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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