You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Your tits are I can't wait for
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
