After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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