Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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