woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize