the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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