It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just had sex on a roof
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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