im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize