i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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