Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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