Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
