I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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