He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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