I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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