U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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