were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize