ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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