The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
