I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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